I See Me in Her
by Kate Rosen
Summary: COMPLETE! Abby sees herself in a 12-year old gril that comes to the ER.
1. Chapter 1

AUTHOR'S NOTE  
Here's a story I wrote a while ago for a fanfic challenge. I thought I'd post it to tide you over until I get my butt moving with my other story. Don't worry, though, the next chapter is about three-quarters done. Happy reading!!!

* * *

**I See Me in Her**  
  
Abby was quickly putting her jacket and purse in her locker when she felt two strong arms encircle her waist and gentle, soft kisses tickle the back of her neck. Only one person could make her smile when she was so frazzled and late for work this morning...  
  
"Pratt, you have to stop, Carter might walk in," she whispered. Carter let go of her quickly. A look of shock permeated his face. Abby turned around slowly and flashed him a wry grin.  
  
"That's not funny." He tried to act hurt, but he was really hiding a smile.  
  
"I thought it was hilarious," she said, amused with herself. She went back into her locker to retrieve her lab coat and stethoscope before she closed the door.  
  
Carter put his arms around her again, this time facing her. "Hey," he said softly.  
  
"Hey," she replied before they shared a kiss.  
  
"How did you sleep last night?" he asked, still holding her tightly.  
  
"All right, except for a cramp in my hand from this heavy weight on my finger," she teased. Carter looked over at her left hand, which was on his shoulder, and at the diamond ring that she was speaking of. He still couldn't believe that he had proposed last night, and he still couldn't believe that she had actually said yes.  
  
"What?" Abby asked. Carter hadn't said anything in a while, and he was just staring at her.  
  
"You're beautiful."  
  
"I bet you say that to all the girls," she replied, blushing a little.  
  
"Do you like the ring?"  
  
"John, the ring is beautiful; I love it, but..." she tried to find the right words.  
  
"What? If you don't like it, we can exchange it. It's no problem."  
  
"No, I really do love it. It's just that...well...it's too much. I'm just happy that we're getting married, but you didn't have to go to all this trouble..."  
  
"Hey," he lifted her chin up so she could see his face, "Nothing is ever too much trouble for you."  
  
"Carter..." she said, embarrassed and blushing again.  
  
"I love you..."  
  
"I love you, too," she replied, and he kissed her again.  
  
"Hey, guys, uh," Susan popped her head in the door, and Abby and Carter turned to look at her. "Sorry to interrupt, but we're getting really backed up in triage..."  
  
"Oh, sorry, Susan," Carter apologized as Abby put on her stethoscope and headed for the door.  
  
"Sorry about that." Abby finally spoke when she and Susan were out in the hall. "We were kind of celebrating," she said quietly as she discreetly showed off her ring.  
  
"Oh my God!!" Susan screamed and hugged her friend  
  
"Shhh," Abby tried to quiet her down, but it was too late. Chuney, Haleh, and Jing-Mei were already running over.  
  
"What? What's wrong?" Jing-Mei asked. Susan grabbed Abby's hand and showed the ring off to the other women. Abby bit her lip, trying to hide the goofy grin that she hadn't been able to remove from her face in the last twelve hours, while the four women around her all screamed and hugged her.

* * *

"Benjamin Sims?" Abby called the next name on the triage list. She saw three children stand up. The oldest was a girl of about eleven. She held what looked like a one-year old girl on her left hip. She also had her arm around a little boy of about five.  
  
"You can call me Ben." The little boy spoke when he reached Abby.  
  
"Okay, Ben. I'm Dr. Lockhart, but you can call me Abby. Now, it says here that you think you broke your wrist," she read off the chart.  
  
"Yeah, that's what Nana thought. She told us to come in," he replied.  
  
"Is she here?" Abby looked around.  
  
"No," the older girl answered. "She doesn't drive, so we took the El."  
  
"What about your mom and dad?"  
  
"It's just Mom, actually, and she's at work. We called and she said she'll come by and pick us up afterwards. I'm Annie, by the way." She put out her hand to shake Abby's. "And this," she looked at her baby sister, "is Grace, but we call her Gracie."  
  
"Hi, Gracie." Abby tickled the baby's cheek, and she giggled. "Why don't you all follow me to Exam 2, where we can check you out?" Abby led the three children over to the room. They seemed pleasant enough, but something wasn't quite right—and the fact that they came in alone made her uncomfortable.  
  
"Okay, Ben, why don't you hop up here on the bed so I can take a look at your wrist?"  
  
Ben gently climbed onto the bed, trying his hardest not to move his arm. Annie sat with Gracie on her lap in a nearby chair.  
  
"Well, whoever wrapped your arm up did a very good job," Abby commented.  
  
"Nana used to be a nurse," Annie said.  
  
"Well, it's nice to have a grand-mother around like that..."  
  
"But—" Ben interjected, but a shake of the head from Annie told him not to continue.  
  
"What?" Abby looked up from unwrapping Ben's wrist to ask.  
  
"Nothing," Ben smiled.  
  
"Well," Abby took a look at Ben's now unwrapped wrist, "it does look swollen. Can you move your fingers at all?"  
  
"No," Ben replied, "it hurts too much."  
  
"We'll definitely give you something so your wrist doesn't hurt so much, and we'll get an x-ray machine in here to see what the inside of you wrist looks like, okay?" Ben nodded, and Abby stood up and removed her gloves. "Do you want me to get one of the nurses to look after Gracie for you?" Abby reached out her hands to Annie.  
  
"No," Annie replied quickly, clutching her baby sister tightly and revealing a bandage on her own arm. "Thank you, but we'll be fine."  
  
"Okay, I'll be right back with that x-ray machine."

* * *

"John, could you help me with a patient?" Abby asked Carter about an hour later when Ben's films had finally come back from radiology.  
  
"This is your boy in two?" Carter asked, pointing to the x-ray. "Looks like a pretty clear collie's fracture, see?" He pointed to the area where the break was.  
  
"No, that's not what I meant." Abby turned off the light box. "I need you to take a look at the boy's older sister."  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"Well, I'm not sure. She's got a bandage on her arm, but she won't let go of her baby sister, so I can't get a good look. I thought maybe by now she'd trust me enough to hold her sister so you could take a look."  
  
"We'll see," Carter said as they entered Exam 2.  
  
"Hey, guys, this is Dr. Carter. Carter, this is Ben, Annie, and Gracie," Abby introduced them all. "Annie, honey," Abby continued, "I brought Dr. Carter in here to look at your arm while I watch Gracie for you, okay?"  
  
Annie looked a little unsure and still wouldn't let go of Gracie. After a moment, however, she hesitantly handed Gracie to Abby.  
  
"Hey, pretty girl." Abby smiled as she took Gracie in her arms. "Is this your Elmo?" she pointed to her stuffed animal.  
  
Gracie smiled. "Emmo!" she said excitedly.  
  
"She likes you," Annie commented while Carter examined her arm. "She doesn't usually like stranger—Oww!"  
  
"I'm sorry," Carter apologized. "This looks like a pretty bad burn. How did it happen?"  
  
"Well, I tried to catch Ben as he fell off the stool in the kitchen this morning—I told him not to climb on it, but he never listens." She shot her brother a glance. "Anyway," she continued, "I burned my arm, because I reached over the stove, and the stove was hot..."  
  
"Okay, I'm going to cover this up with some clean gauze, but you have to keep it clean and dry, okay?" Carter instructed.  
  
"Um, sure," Annie answered, but she was more interested in Abby and her sister. "Could you give her some cheerios and juice from the bag here?" She motioned to the small bag on the bed. "She hasn't had anything since breakfast."  
  
"Sure," Abby answered, smiling. Gracie was the happiest baby that she had ever seen, and taking care of her was no trouble at all.  
  
Gracie's little fingers expertly picked the cheerios out of Abby's hand. When she offered one to Abby, Abby quickly gobbled it up, which made Gracie giggle. Now feeding Abby was more fun for her than eating the cheerios herself. Both Carter and Annie smiled at Abby and Gracie. It was the first time that Abby had seen Annie smile since they had arrived at the hospital.   
  
"Would it be all right if I took Gracie for a few minutes?" Abby asked Annie when Carter had finished bandaging Annie's arm and putting a cast on Ben's wrist. "We'll bring some lunch in here for you and Ben, and you two can rest a little then, okay?"  
  
Annie looked a little uneasy, but one look at Ben told her that there was no way that she could turn down a free lunch and a chance to relax. After all, neither of them had gotten a chance to eat breakfast after the fiasco this morning, and Annie couldn't remember the last time she'd gotten some uninterrupted sleep...  
  
"All right," Annie reluctantly agreed, "but you can bring her back to me if she gets fussy."  
  
"I'm sure we'll be fine..." Abby replied, smiling at Gracie.

* * *

"Frank, could you call down to the cafeteria and order two lunch trays for the kids in Exam 2?" Carter asked as he walked by the desk on his way to the lounge with Abby and Gracie.  
  
"So, where are the parents?" Carter asked Abby after they were seated on the couch. Gracie sat between them and alternated feeding cheerios to Carter and Abby while they talked.  
  
"Well, they said they were staying with Grandma, but she doesn't drive, and their mom will come for them after work. Dad's not around...I don't know though...Something's definitely not right...Who was watching them this morning when everything happened? And Annie is like a mother to Gracie. It seems to me like she does most of the mothering..."  
  
"What do you want to do?"  
  
"Talk to Mom when she comes for them, I guess. I don't know what else to do..."  
  
"Yeah, I agree. I think it's too soon to get social services involved..."  
  
Carter looked at Gracie, who was in the midst of putting a cheerio in his mouth. She giggled and put one in her own mouth. "Mmmm," she said licking her lips.  
  
"Come here, you," Carter said, picking her up and tickling her. Gracie began to laugh uncontrollably...

* * *

"Annie, honey..." Abby shook Annie to try to wake her. Annie opened her eyes slowly. She was a little disoriented, because she couldn't remember where she was at first.  
  
"Where's Gracie?" she asked, suddenly panic-stricken.  
  
"She's fine. She's with Dr. Carter. She's the life of the ER actually." Abby smiled. Annie relaxed a little. "Do you want me to wake Ben?" Abby asked.  
  
"No, let him get a little more sleep, if that's okay. It's been a long day."  
  
"You have a lot of responsibility, don't you?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"How old are you?"  
  
"I'll be twelve in a few months."  
  
"Well, you're the most mature eleven-year old I've ever seen. Your brother respects you like a mother, and you've got this strong mother-like instinct where Gracie's concerned. She's always the first thing on your mind..."  
  
"Well, they need someone..."  
  
"What about your mom?"  
  
Annie smiled. "We'll, she's not around much. She, uh, works a lot. Nana helps out when she can, but she's pretty old. The kids depend on me."  
  
"That's a lot for someone your age to handle."  
  
"I don't have choice really..."  
  
"Yes you do."  
  
"Are you talking about foster care? You're kidding, right? No one wants to adopt a twelve-year old, or even a five-year old. They all want babies. And nobody wants to adopt three kids. We'd be split up, and I can't let that happen. You won't let that happen, will you, Abby?" Annie's eyes were pleading with Abby. She couldn't let that happen.  
  
"I think we better talk to your mom first. When does she get done work? It's almost seven..."  
  
Annie's eyes grew wide. "I didn't realized that we'd slept that long. Um, she should be here any minute..." Annie looked worried, but before Abby could ask what was wrong, Susan burst in the door.  
  
"Abby, we've got a multi-victim MVA pulling up. We're going to need you," she said quickly.  
  
"I'll be back," Abby promised before she ran out.

* * *

"Is that it?" Carter asked as Abby removed her gloves and gown in Trauma 1.  
  
"I think so. We just sent the last one up to surgery. I think they're all going to be okay though," she continued as she followed him out of the room. "Hey, did those kids' mother show up?"  
  
"I haven't heard from them since Annie came to get Gracie from me a little while ago," Carter answered.  
  
"Shoot... I didn't want to do it, but I think we're going to have to call social services... Could you call while I go and talk to them?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
Abby walked down the hall to Exam 2, but the room looked empty. When she entered the room, she noticed both of the kids' charts on the bed and a note beside them. Both charts had a parent's signature and the note read:  
  
_Dear Doctors Lockhart and Carter,  
Thanks for taking care of my kids today. They spoke highly of both of you. I couldn't find either of you around—the place looked busy—so I just signed their charts and took them home. I hope that's okay. They have to get up early for school tomorrow. Thank you again so much.   
Sincerely,   
Holly Kramer  
_  
Abby was still worried. She had really wanted to meet the mother and make sure everything was okay before she discharged the kids. She stared at the floor, and something fuzzy and red sticking out from under the bed caught her eye. She bent down to see what it was and found Gracie's stuffed Elmo...


	2. Chapter 2

  
  
A week passed by, but Abby couldn't get Annie, Ben, and Gracie off her mind. Something about them worried her—and something about Annie reminded her of someone...  
  
Abby kept the stuffed Elmo in her locker in case they came back for it, but she didn't think they would. Abby had probably scared Annie with their talk of foster care. She couldn't blame her really.  
  
Just then, a call from the paramedics came in on the radio. Elderly women in late seventies...full arrest...ETA 5 minutes out...  
  
Great...thought Abby. It didn't sound too hopeful.  
  
Abby waited out in the bay with Sam and Carter for the rig to pull up. When the doors opened, the EMTs were bagging the women and giving her chest compressions. They said she never had a pulse. I guess we'll just be going through the motions for the family, thought Abby when the children who were in the rig with the elderly woman caught her eye.  
  
"Annie, Ben," she said, surprised. "You got this?" she asked Carter. He nodded in reply. Abby turned her attention back to the kids. "What happened?"  
  
Ben spoke first. "Nana fell down and she wouldn't get up. Annie wouldn't move. I had to call 911." Annie stood motionless holding Gracie, who was drinking from her sippy-cup.  
  
"Lily!" Abby called to the passing nurse. "Could you watch these two for a minute?"  
  
"Sure," she replied. Abby handed Gracie to her and motioned for Ben to take her free hand. Abby then led Annie to an empty exam room where they could talk. Annie still looked shocked and scared and hadn't said a word.  
  
"Annie, honey, are you all right?"  
  
"She's dead, isn't she?" Annie finally said.  
  
"Yeah, most likely... I know it's hard when someone you love dies, but your grandma lived a good, long life and it was her time...  
  
"She's not our grandma." Now it was Abby's turn to look shocked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"She's our neighbor. We just call her 'Nana.' She helps out a lot when Mom's not around. Well, she helped...I don't know what we're going to do now..."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
Annie looked Abby straight in the eye. "Don't you get it? Our mom's not around. Well, sometimes, but not enough that we can count on her. She never came to the hospital that other day. I had to forge that note for you... You see, she's fine when she takes her medicine, which is rare, but usually she's either gone for a week at a time or home crying and sleeping in bed."  
  
Abby's eyes grew wide. "Your mom's bipolar..." It was more a statement than a question.  
  
"Yeah, she's bipolar. She's bipolar and she doesn't take her medicine, so I have to be the mom." She paused for a moment before continuing. "See my arm?" She held out her burnt arm for Abby to look at. It looked infected. "It hurts like hell," Annie continued. "And I know that Dr. Carter said to keep it dry, but how am I supposed to do that? How am I supposed to do the dishes and give Gracie a bath and do the laundry and fix an over- flowing toilet without getting my arm wet, huh? How? How?" By now, Annie was in tears. Abby hugged her tightly and tried to calm her down.  
  
"Shh...It's okay sweetie. Everything's going to be okay..." Abby whispered.  
  
"Please don't let them take Gracie and Ben from me. Please don't let them separate us," she pleaded.  
  
"I won't," said Abby. "I promise."

* * *

"So what's going to happen to them?" Abby asked Adele, the social worker, a few hours later. Carter was standing by and listening as well.  
  
"Well," Adele started. "I'll probably be able to find a foster family to take Gracie, but Annie and Ben will probably have to go to a group home..."  
  
"No," said Abby firmly. "You can't separate them."  
  
"I might not have a choice."  
  
"Then we'll take them," Abby stated matter-of-factly.  
  
"What?!" Carter was surprised and caught off guard by her statement. They hadn't discussed this. "We can't take them."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because it's crazy. We barely know these kids. We don't know anything about them or what they're like. We're getting married soon. We can't just take in three kids just like that."  
  
"It's not that simple, anyway," Adele cut in.  
  
"Why?" Abby asked.  
  
"We can't just give children to anyone. You have to be licensed."  
  
"Then we'll get licensed."  
  
"Abby!"  
  
"What, Carter? I promised that girl. I promised Annie that they wouldn't be separated."  
  
"You shouldn't have promised that. I'm sorry, but this is the way it's going to have to be," Adele said before she went in the room to talk to the kids.  
  
Abby walked down the hall, away from Carter.

* * *

That night, Abby and Carter lie awake in bed facing opposite directions. Carter was worried about Abby. Abby was worried about the kids.  
  
Carter heard Abby move. "Hey, are you awake?" he turned toward her and asked.  
  
"Yeah," she answered, still facing the opposite direction.  
  
"What's wrong?" he asked. "Why did you get so upset today?"  
  
"I'm worried about those kids," she answered.  
  
"No, there's something else..."  
  
"What do you mean?" she asked, finally turning around.  
  
"We've had kids at the hospital taken away by social services before and even seen them separated. We can't save them all; you know that. Why are these kids different?"  
  
"I don't know. I just..."  
  
"Hey, what is it? You can tell me."  
  
"Their mom's bipolar..."  
  
"What?" Carter eyes grew wide. "How do you know?"  
  
"Annie told me today. She has to be mother to those kids. She's so protective of them. She'd do anything..." Abby was starting to cry. Carter held her.  
  
"Shh... It's okay."  
  
Abby pulled away from him a little. "It's just... I look at Annie and I see... I see me in her. I see me as a kid. I see me trying my best to take care of Eric. I don't know what I would have done if they would have taken Eric from me. He was all I had. And Gracie and Ben are all Annie has. I can't let them be separated. I can't do that to Annie."  
  
Carter held her close again. "Shh... It's okay. We'll make sure their not separated. Tomorrow we'll see what we can do about getting licensed."  
  
Abby pulled away from him again. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm sure. Annie deserves what's left of her childhood to be happy. And they all deserve a mother like you."  
  
Abby smiled. "I love you, John Carter."  
  
"I love you, too."

* * *

_One month later..._  
  
"Hey, what are you doing?" Abby asked Carter. It was two o'clock in the morning and he was getting out of bed.  
  
"Gracie's crying. I was going to go see what's wrong."  
  
"It's okay; I'll go." Abby got up and put on her robe.  
  
"Are you sure?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah, you have to work in the morning. You need you rest. Go back to sleep." She kissed him on the forehead.  
  
"You're an angel," he said as he climbed back into bed. Abby smiled.  
  
When she reached Gracie's room, she found Annie already there, rocking her sister.  
  
"Hey, what are you doing?" Abby asked.  
  
"Just trying to get Gracie to go back to sleep. I didn't want to wake you and John."  
  
"It's all right, honey; I've got her. You go back to sleep."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yeah, you need your rest." Annie handed Gracie to Abby and headed for the hall, but she stopped before she got there.  
  
"I was thinking about what Ben asked today." Abby looked up. "About calling you and John 'Mom' and 'Dad,'" she continued. "I just wanted you to know that it's all right with me. And I think we should teach Gracie to do the same."  
  
Abby smiled and a tear streamed down her face, "Thank you."  
  
"No...thank you...for everything. Good night...Mom." 


End file.
